There was a time where running was my therapy. I used my hour in the evening to decompress from my daily dose of work stress. It used to be fun and refreshing.
Lots of things have changed in the last year. The last six months seem to be about deviations from "the plan" every time I turn around. And I'm having a difficult time with that.
Late this week, i finally figured out why my alone time isn't fun anymore. I'm spending my hour dwelling on what is not right. How I've lost control of my life plan, and not about what I should be doing to get things back on track. It's turned running time from my therapy into my dungeon. I spend time fearing the monsters under my bed. About the evil monkey in the closet. It's not the way it used to be.
I spent a lot of time when my kids were growing up preaching to them about accountability and responsibility. About how a pronoun in a sentence can turn it into an excuse. About how you solve a problem by telling yourself what you are going to do to solve it. Not about what he or she did or didn't do to create the problem. It's time to take some responsibility and get life back on track. Time to spend an hour a day figuring out solutions and not dwelling on problems.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Bravo, Glenn. And I feel your pain. The past 3 weeks have changed my world profoundly... and I'm struggling with finding my way back.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I give that same speech to my kids...although I like the pronoun approach.
ReplyDeleteEver thought of just having fun with it for a while Glenn? Seriously, leave the garmin/stopwatch/running planner behind and just feel the breeze in your hair for an hour. I am sad to see someone who enjoyed running so much beat their head against the wall because of it now...
ReplyDeleteHey Glenn. Sorry I have been away for a bit, but I think of you and now that I read this...I think that maybe if you can...run just for fun for a bit. Try to find the joy in running again, don't worry about pace, distance...just say, "I am going for a run" and run when you want to, walk when you want to.
ReplyDeleteEither that...or take some time off from it. That is what I had to do. I came back to loving it again after some time off.
Good luck. If there is anything I can do to help, I will.
Glenn. Try to make an effort to NOT think at all when you run. It's difficult at first. But it is wonderful, and I think that it will help. Stay in the exact moment that you are in, don't let your mind go forward or back.
ReplyDeleteGood luck! It's been really tough in the O.C., we took a big hit too and my runs where I think about NOTHING help bunches.
Then you're not pushing yourself enough physically. If you haven't cleared your head in the first 2 or 3 miles, stopped thinking about much of anything, you need to step on it, raise that heart rate. Feel the burn!!
ReplyDeleteI completely understand how that feels. It might actually make it a little bit better writing it out. I don't know. At least that's possible.
ReplyDeleteI hope that you can figure something out to better your experience again.
I'm glad you were able to figure it out. I truly believe that's the first step. Now that you know what the issue is, you can start to work on it.
ReplyDeleteI believe in you, Glenn!
Love the pronoun logic there! I agree with Happy Trails - if I have my watch on and see my pace, I start to cringe. Just outdoors and breathe!!!
ReplyDeletebtw, did you land a great job??
This has been coming for a while, and I know your pain. Hang in there and come back when you're ready!
ReplyDeletePenny and I are doing the Tough Topanga 10K this Saturday if you want to join me for a walk?
Wow, when you hinted that you and I were in the same ("running doesn't feel the same") boat, you weren't kidding!
ReplyDeleteGiven that I am facing the same issue (running a marathon has helped a tad but I know it will come back), I don't know what to say to help. Maybe some walking? A break in which you allow yourself not to schedule runs at all?...