There was a time where running was my therapy. I used my hour in the evening to decompress from my daily dose of work stress. It used to be fun and refreshing.
Lots of things have changed in the last year. The last six months seem to be about deviations from "the plan" every time I turn around. And I'm having a difficult time with that.
Late this week, i finally figured out why my alone time isn't fun anymore. I'm spending my hour dwelling on what is not right. How I've lost control of my life plan, and not about what I should be doing to get things back on track. It's turned running time from my therapy into my dungeon. I spend time fearing the monsters under my bed. About the evil monkey in the closet. It's not the way it used to be.
I spent a lot of time when my kids were growing up preaching to them about accountability and responsibility. About how a pronoun in a sentence can turn it into an excuse. About how you solve a problem by telling yourself what you are going to do to solve it. Not about what he or she did or didn't do to create the problem. It's time to take some responsibility and get life back on track. Time to spend an hour a day figuring out solutions and not dwelling on problems.
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