You Can’t Win Everytime…

This weekend was, errrr, eventful. I was supposed to run 13 miles on Saturday, 6 on Sunday, and rowed 4 yesterday. Here is how things ended up:

Saturday – Woke up around 4:30 with a bit of a stomach problem. Details would be TMI. Suffice it to say I would have been trotting from bush to bush. I decided to live and play another day.

Sunday morning – Plan was to get out for Saturday’s 13 miler. Tried burning the candle at both ends Saturday night. Took my kids to see George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic at House of Blues (great venue to see a concert). George was his normal self and played for three and a half hours.

Didn’t get out of the place and back home until 1:30. In the morning. Getting up early on Sunday didn’t happen. Started on my last blog post while having AM coffee. Had a difficult time stringing more than three coherent words together. The day draws on.

Sunday afternoon – Got the blog post published in the early afternoon. Find out that the wife and I were home alone for the evening. Decided it was time for a night out on the town. 13 miles ain’t happening. Decided to take Penny up on her invitation to join her at the Laguna Hills Half Marathon on Monday. Drive to the Laguna Hills Mall and sign up. Get the last large shirt. Out of goody bags.

Monday morning – Up at 5:30 AM for a 7 AM start. Problem – was out until 2:30 AM. Threw on some running gear and bolted out the door. Picked up normal pre-race breakfast (apple fritter, coffee) and ambled down the freeway. Get parked, changed, and situated in time to meet Yas and the Bean, and Penny before the race. Run into Lisa near the start line. Decide that a 2:10 would be a good goal time. (Kind of late to be thinking Half Marathon goal?) Remind myself that I’m here to do a thirteen miler. Not to set a PR. I am not peaked for a Half.

Monday 6:45 AM – Get in the start chute with 6,000 other runners. I see bandits. Guess if the organizers aren’t giving away shirts and goody bags there’s no reason to pay right? Hmm. Oh well.

Monday 7:00 AM – Starting gun sounds. Typical 6,000 runner race. I started by the 9:00 pace marker. Immediately run into walkers. Guess it must be a language barrier.

Monday 7:30 AM – Feeling good. I pass the 5K point. Make a potty stop at the porta potties. I’m feeling strong and not really working that hard.

Monday 8:00 AM – Pass through the 10K point. 1:01:20. Feeling good. Sweating profusely. Time for an Endurolyte fix. One problem though. 5:30 AM through everything together haphazardly. Must have thought I was running a 5K. No fuel. No electrolytes. Hmmmmm.

Monday 8:10 AM – Still feeling okay. We’re on a piece of trail where runners are going both directions. I’m on the lookout for those I know that are running (I Love Steaks, Wadiasoft, Rad Runner, a bunch of Cal Coasters) Lisa passes me going the other direction. She’s looking strong. We wave at each other. She yells some words of encouragement. I grunt.

Monday 8:15 AM – Getting close to the turnaround. I see Rad Runner heading back up toward the finish. She’s heads down and all business. Twitter friend Christina (biblio_phile) gives me a low 5.

Monday 8:19 AM - Get to the turnaround. 8 miles in. 5 miles to go. All uphill.

Monday 8:25 AM – Penny is looking good. Looks like she’s on track to a new PR.

Monday 8:35 AM – 9.5 miles Starting to feel some fatigue. Sure would be nice to have an electrolyte fix! What was I thinking (or not thinking) this morning? This is a freaking half marathon! Slow down to a walk to crest a hill.

Monday 8:45 AM – Okay. Officially in some trouble here. Just past 10 mile mark. I think Keith Moon has been resurrected to play drums on my calves. I look down and see the Alien trying to break out of my right calf. Have to stop and release the cramp. Shuffle in to the 10.6 mile aid station. Grab three or four cups of gleukos. Looks like water. Tastes decent. But too little too late to save the day. Up to this point, I was on a 2:0x finish pace. Now it’s hang on and try to make the 2:10.

Monday 9:05 AM – 20 minutes since the aid station. I’ve made it 1.1 miles. That’s 3 miles per hour. If I do more than walk, my calves start cramping. Now, my attempt at jogging results in lower ab cramps. Time to throw in the towel and enjoy the weather and scenery. What did I say on Saturday? Live to play another day?

Monday 9:40 AM – Finish line. I’ve walked (yes folks – walked) two miles. Muster what I can to appear to be running across the finish line. These will not be pretty race photos. I don’t think I’m even going to look when they are released.

Monday 9:45 AM – Make it to the recovery area. Crap! Nothing left except water and Myoplex? Bananas – gone. Oranges – gone. Recovery drink – gone. No bagels or anything to use to replenish carbs. Hey organizers – there are still a ton of runners and walkers on the course! You’re going to leave them all high and dry! WTF?

Monday 10:00 AM – Assess the damage. Sore legs. Sore back. Sore abs. Unofficial finish time 2:40:57 (Garmin time). What went wrong? I took my stoopid pills. No water belt. No fuel. No Endurolytes. No training. Race plan at 6:50AM. What was I thinking? It just goes to show – you can fool a 5K or a 10K. But this 13 mile thing is a little more serious. I got *exactly* what I planned for.

Monday 10:30 AM – This is more like it!

Lisa, Penny, Yas (and the bean) and me enjoying the post race shade.